lolFinland: June 2010

Rome. Retard.

Ah, Italy. A country so very much incompatible with me. :) A nation living on the ruins of a great empire (which was of course based on slavery and military conquest, just like the so-called great empire of the past half a century) uncohesive, form over function, full of hot steam, void of the cool logic required to successfully run a country, corrupt.

Having to go there several times a year on business might be affecting my thinking.

And at least the food is fantastic. Best pizzas can be found in other countries, but pasta-wise, Italy certainly takes the price. Just steer clear from the tourist traps and eat, where the locals eat. We found some of the most sleaziest staff members imaginable, when we tried taking the easy way out and eating in one of the large street-side pizzerias that promised service in dozen languages. In this case some fat half-Italian, half-gypsy slimy prick of a waiter kept harassing passers-by and preying on the dining customers. If a guy would leave his lady alone even for a moment to visit the bathroom, this creep would immediately materialize behind the girl and start groping her, asking for photos, kisses and whatnot. Most of the women actually seemed delighted by the attention *giggle giggle*, though I'm not sure, how their husbands would appreciate it later, when one of the holiday photos would show a greasy-haired, mouth-breathing gigolo with a perpetual sneer on his face holding their woman, with one shovel-sized hand wrapped firmly around a buttock.

Anyway. :)

We spent 4 days in Rome. Photos.

This statue shop was so cash. (I was surprised to find out that Americans actually use expressions like that in a real-life conversation...)

Visiting the Leonardo da Vinci museum. Official? No idea, but it was nice enough. Just a tad expensive. Saying that guy was really something wouldn't even properly start scratching the surface of his genius.

Oh hell yes. Respect. :)

Colosseum. Notice the golden pharaoh standing on the foreground. I have to respect these guys' self-control; the outside temperatures to the north of 25 degrees Celsius probably mean that you could fry eggs on the shiny surface of those costumes.

Into the Colosseum.

View from the Colosseum.

Did Roman legionaries have cigarette breaks?

Evenings were nice and warm.

A pit with some ruins and about a hundred cats.

The mouth of Truth.

A view over Circus Maximus.

Visited too many churches to remember the specifics, but what the hell is wrong with this altarpiece? A skull looking upwards and above it an x-ray image (?) of someone's lower body? Nothing is too ridiculous for religions, sure, but damn.

Some of the other decorations are interesting, too. There must be so many tattoos designed using this thing as a template.

This guy actually reminds me about one big church in Rome, the inside walls of which were lined up with tiny booths that had fat priests in them, ready to receive confessions from believers in various languages. I was very tempted to just walk up to one of them and order a Big Mac with fries.

Using electric lamps instead of real candles. Can I make the donation in, say, bottle caps, too, then?

A nice peaceful spot.

And yet more Segways. :) Everywhere they go. Except Finland. They don't go to Finland.

Spanish Steps.

Trevi Fountain. Would be a great place to sit down for a while, but it seems to be one of the most popular sights in Rome, so prepare to elbow your way around.

Tossing some coins into the fountain. Doing it the wrong way and for the wrong reasons, but who cares, I hate carrying around small change. Apparently thousands of euros worth get tossed into the water every single day.

Pantheon. Being originally a temple for every single god out there, it is more or less the only religious building in Rome that I have even a shred of respect for. Of course, the good Christians have long since perverted it into their own image, but I can ignore that minor detail. A very impressive building, really. 2000 years old and still going strong. They really don't make them like they used to, anymore. I don't think my house is going to be standing here after a mere 100 years from now.

Saint Peter's Square in Vatican. Tourists, fat cops buzzing around in golf cars, Swiss soldiers dressed up as clowns, African people selling trinkets. Action never ceases in this greed capital of the world. (Well, one of them, at least. Perhaps Vatican only hands down wins the first price for the most outrageous double morals, those lecherous old farts.)

Vatican Museum entrance. An excellent idea to visit off-season. Apparently the queue can reach hundreds of meters in length at times.

Broken angels. More my kinda art.

It's funny, how the Vatican is filled with references to non-Christian religions.

This painting of Eden was actually rather nice. Colors, yay.

A corridor lined with old maps. I've liked maps as long as I can remember. Warm, fuzzy feelings, etc. Other than that, the whole place is just a long succession of gift shops wrapped in excessive amounts of marble, gold and art.

Sistine Chapel was really nice, I do admit, as were many of the art pieces in the galleries and all over the walls and ceilings, but the sheer busyness of the deco made me realize once again, how much I appreciate minimalism as interior design guideline.

Big metal ball. Big. Metal. Heavy. Can be rotated with ease. Nicely done.

Inside the Vatican.

Outside the Vatican. (on Ponte Sant'Angelo)

Rainbow over Tiber River.

Perhaps one more update for this trip to follow?

More precisely, Paris and Mont Saint-Michel.

It seems that uploading photos from the trip takes longer than the trip itself. A true testament to my laziness, if there ever was any. I simply got distracted after the London photos by the video games Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2. Now, nearly a month later, I'm done with them and ready to upload some more. :)

So, we headed to Paris next. As I had been there before a few times, I got the pleasure of acting as a tourist guide of sorts. French people still manage to impress me with their rudeness.

It was indeed a good idea to travel before the tourist season, as usually the area beneath the Eiffel Tower is completely crowded.

Dogs playing in water. :)

The only place, where we really had to queue: Versailles. See, how the line of people turns left in the distance? The entrance is still further to the left, off-picture.

It's a pretty building, still. Second time I was there. Rather than living there, though, I'd just loot the place and buy something with a bit more taste.

The gardens in Versailles are doing a great job mimicking a painting through their sheer scale and geometric precision.

You could even rent Segways to tour the gardens with. That really is the coolest vehicle in the world. Would you believe that they are actually illegal in Finland, because our idiot leaders can't decide on whether they should be treated as cars, motorcycles, bicycles or just the chick magnets that they are? I'd really like to have one...

The white church, Sacre Coeur. Equal servings of tourists and very annoying Africans trying to tie strings around people's fingers, then charging money for it.

Place du Tertre near the white church. Many artists selling random paintings, and many more Chinese selling cheap, mass-produced knock-offs.

Moulin Rouge. A very expensive place. A big black dude shooed me away just for checking their menu by the door.

Napoleon's idea of building stuff that blends into the Parisian cityscape.

Notre Dame. A very nice, beautiful church. Spent a nice half-hour inside sitting in the dark coolness, listening to church-burning black metal on my mp3 player.

The Arc of Triumph on the Louvre grounds, behind it Concorde, Champs-Elysées and the bigger, more famous Arc of Triumph in the distance (a good 2 km away, actually).

The big one from closer up.

Musee du Louvre. It's a huge place. Two days of browsing it, and we barely managed to see it all.

There was a car show in the Louvre grounds. Seemed like a bit strange idea.

In the Louvre, posing between some ancient Persian statues.

Code of Hammurabi, the oldest written law in the world, from about 5000 years ago. Many interesting rules on it, often involving the death penalty. How about this "milder" one: "If a man knocks the teeth out of another man, his own teeth will be knocked out."

Ah, Venus de Milo, she's a beauty. :)

A lot of statues in the Louvre collection.

Om-nom-nom.

I'd like this one by my front door.

Yet more statues and other artwork in storage.

Are there any statues left in the Easter Island?

Paintings lining one of the main corridors.

Painter painting a painting of a painting. No photos, please.

The Raft of the Medusa. A really great piece. The French Romanticism is probably one of the last good things the French have introduced to the human civilization. (might be just my opinion, though I'm sure many share it)

A huge crowd of sheeples on their Da Vinci Code tour or whatever.

I don't actually see the point of all the commotion this thing causes. I mean, it's nice and all, but the paintings surrounding it are nicer. It's really tiny, too.